~ Abraham Hicks ~
What Is Unconditional Love?
Unconditional love is when you love yourself, and others without condition - no matter what. By removing the conditions for your love, it's a freeing and more joyous experience.
The best gift you can give yourself is to love yourself unconditionally. No matter what anyone else thinks about you, good or bad, always love yourself. You deserve it, and your inner being expects it and won't settle for anything less.
Try it - it's a liberating experience!
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Play the video on the left 'Abraham Hicks - What is Unconditional Love - to hear the full audio on this subject.
Listening time: 11 minutes
Hello, and thank you for allowing me to be here. I came to know about Abraham and the teachings that everything that you're doing two years ago and he has tremendously changed the way I see my physical life. My question is, I wanted to know about the fear and the judge somehow, and the connection about money. I've always been judged. I feel there's always something, because everything I've done, and in truth I just sort of lost myself.
Judged by who?
By men? You are right.
Could be. Yeah, I'm sure men and just everyone, and somehow once I was asked - who are you, and I didn't really know who I was. I do remember as a kid I was this fan, you know I was always creating fantasies in my head, and when I was told I was a liar, but in truth everything really became, everything happened, everything that I invented in my head, and I have a one-year-old daughter now and I'm happy that I'm able to, when you were saying how to, I want to be a great father and a great parent and a great teacher, and all these great things that I can give her, and based on your teachings I've been able to feel good about what I'm doing, about allowing her, but also I'm looking how can I align myself to be better for myself, because they all will reflect upon her.
Well, the answer and it sometimes, it sounds so simplistic that our human friends don't want to hear it. The answer is, if you will let feeling good be the most important thing to you, which means you become less and less willing to harbor thoughts to continue to think thoughts that don't feel good, that is the answer to everything, by training yourself, thought by thought, into alignment with who you really are.
The reason that we've been explaining who you are to you, in the way that we have, is because we want you to get the sense of this powerful being, a part of which came forth for the purpose of expanding, and we want you to realize that in every moment, the way you feel is about one thing only - I'm keeping up with my expansion, or I'm not.
A fun way of looking at it is, you're sort of like a two-headed monster and we just want both heads to move in the same direction. In other words, you're a lover when you're not loving, you're separated, you are, you know your worthiness. When you feel unworthy, you're separated. You understand well-being, when you're focused upon a problem and making it look like the end of the world, you're separating yourself from who you are.
So, you said something really important, and it holds the key to the answer to your question. When you acknowledge that, over time, you began to care what others think of you. Most people, in any environment, are more aware of how others are perceiving you, you care more about they're looking at you and what they think as they look, than you do about how you feel.
People are always running around wanting to find ways to get others to love them, or approve of them, or appreciate them, when really the answer is, if you could just start loving and approving and appreciating, you'd solve your own problem.
In other words, if you could just get that appreciation flowing through you, you'd have no awareness of what was coming back to you, because you see, the reason you want someone to love you, is because when someone holds you as their object of attention, and they are loving you, they are in the moment of loving you, tuned into who they really are. so the whole of them is holding you as their object of attention, and in their love, oh does it ever feel good to you, so then you say, oh this feels so good, what can I do to maintain more of that, but that's the trap, because now if you're looking to that person like a grandmother, or a mother, or a teacher, or a girlfriend, or a lover, if you're looking to anyone else to be the Vortex through which the love is shined.
Now they've always got to be around, they've always got to be in a good mood, they've always got to be tuned in, you've always got to be their singular object of attention, and if they look away, or if they get in a bad mood, then you feel like a puppet that's somebody's let go of the strings, and the worst part of that is, when they're loving you, you like it so much that you stand on your head to maintain that love, and when they, for whatever reason aren't loving you, you take it personally, you say, oh I did something that caused them to love me and it feels so good, and now they're not loving me I wonder how I have failed them, and that's where that is the basis of all unworthiness.
Do you know, that there are people all over the place, there are people all over the place that right now aren't tuned in to who they are, and they've got nothing to give you, and when you expect to get appreciation from someone that's not hooked to the faucet of appreciation, they're not going to appreciate you, and you're gonna feel unappreciated, and most of you then take it personally, and it's not personal.
It's just, it's like the old adage about trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip. There isn't any in it you see, and so we talked about this before, and we think that you're hearing what we're giving you here, when you care about how you feel, it's sort of like, so let's demonstrate this, sort of graphically. So, you're, someone's over there, a lot of you, and you're loving me. I'm in my physical form and you're loving me, and oh it feels really good because I've done something to get you to look at me, and you're loving me and it feels so good, but now I have to find a way to keep you looking at me because if you should look somewhere else, then I have no more source for it.
Where, when you discover that you can connect to source and then you can love, and you can look anywhere that you want to look, and you can love, now you can keep that stream of who you are flowing, regardless of what is coming back to you.
Unconditional love says, I'm connected to love regardless of any condition, and in unconditional love I am free.
Conditional love says, I see that and it's good and I love it, and I see that and it's not as good and I don't love it as much, and I see that and it's awful and I don't love it, so that if that would be more like that, then I could love it. Oh, I would give anything if that would be more like that. I'd vote for it. I'd spend money on that. if that could get like that, because when I see that I feel so good, and when I see that I feel so bad. I hate that I feel so bad when I see that. If that would just be better, let's get together and see if we can get that to be like that, with enough peer group pressure I'm pretty sure we could get that to be like that, and if it doesn't comply, we'll just, we'll just kill it.
Conditional love says, I want love but the conditions all have to, the conditions over which I have no control, have to all be shifted, and that's what renders you a feeling of powerlessness, the emotions that you feel, when you are connected with who you are, and it feels like love and appreciation and joy. Your perspective from which you are looking as one of alignment and freedom and empowerment. When you feel hate or despair or fear, that's nothing more than a feeling of disempowerment on the extremes of this emotional scale, the horrible feeling end, and the wonderful feeling end is perception of power, empowerment, and perception of disempowerment.
So, when you think, when you want with everything that you are, it's who you are to feel good, and you don't, and you think that, or that, or that, or that, or that is the reason for it, your feeling of disempowerment is really what it's all about.
When you discover that under any and all conditions you can feel love, now you've got it, and in that moment, your awareness of the judgment of others will evaporate. It will be gone completely. It will become irrelevant in your mind as it is, it does not matter what anyone thinks of you, but it matters tremendously what you think of others.
So, they don't love me and I don't love them either, well you can't, you've got to love them even if they don't love you.
Someone was talking about allowing, allowing, the art of allowing. Do you know what supreme allowing is? Allowing another who's not allowing you. Not letting their hatred of you, keep you from being the lover that you are, you see.
So, you just have to practice it.
You just have to want to feel good enough that you'll adjust your thinking until you do. So many people, and you said this, you've said so much, in such a few words, so many people have been trained to believe in right or wrong, because good piles and bad piles. Things I want. Things I can love easily. Things that I hate easily. So that, I would call that the right pile, because I want it. I would call that the wrong pile. I would call that, so I will, I will seek truth wherever I look, and I will tell it like it is, and we say, rather than letting the truth of something be your criteria, let how it feels be your criteria.
In other words, there are a lot of things that are true, that feel awful when you give your attention to them, so what does that mean? If something that I know is true, feels awful when I look at it, what does it mean?
Simple, it means the source within me won't look at it. What about that? Source won't face truth, is that what you're saying, Abraham? Source won't face truth. Source won't look at unwanted. Source is only looking at the expansion. Source is not looking at the contrast that caused the expansion.
So, do you get that?
Let's revisit that, source won't look at something that's true. Source looks at plenty of things that are true, if they're in alignment with the expansion. The source will not look, source will not condemn, even if the reason for the condemnation is valid in your physical point of view, you see.